Best Funny & Humorous Instagram Captions and Quotes

SocaiLiberty | Funny and Humorous Captions

Best Funny & Humorous Instagram Captions and Quotes

  • I need a six month holiday, twice a year
  • If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
  • How did I get back to my crib last night
  • we made it, it’s Friday!
  • I read the twilight books
  • When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance
  • Friday, my second favorite F word
  • Women drivers rev my engine
  • I like cooties
  • Hey, I just met you, this is crazy
  • At least this balloon is attracted to me!
  • I must destroy you with hugs and kisses
  • Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it
  • I woke up like this
  • Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
  • I will eat just one, I swear
  • I liked memes before they were on Instagram
  • if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread man?
  • If we could only turn back time…
  • Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about
  • 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram
  • Thank you for making me feel less alone
  • The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”
  • Crossfit? I play real sports
  • A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
  • At dawn, we ride
  • you are enough
  • This seat is taken
  • I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it
  • I had fun once, it was horrible
  • survived another “end of the world” scenario
  • Girls be like…
  • stop stop, I’m gunna pee
  • Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
  • Puts selfie on top of the tree because I’m the star.
  • Is I in trouble?
  • I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”
  • It never rains during the weekend
  • There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
  • Oh, hi there!
  • When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.
  • I like being myself. Maybe just slimmer, with a few fewer wrinkles.
  • I think you are lacking Vitamin me!
  • Friday, my second favorite F word.
  • Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
  • Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
  • Always accept yourself. Unless you are a serial killer. Then please change.
  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
  • Free hot dogs and chili, you always pay for them later.
  • Girls–be as picky with your men as I was with this selfie.
  • I just rap occasionally.
  • Long line at Starbucks, first world problems.
  • Lost in the world that doesn’t exist.
  • Women drivers rev my engine.
  • Weekend, please don’t leave me.
  • You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.
  • I got back with my Ex… Box 360.
  • Say “Beer Can” with a British accent. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.
  • The Monday-est Tuesday ever.
  • You can ask Tommy, Hilfiger it out!
  • Stay Alive. Challenge Accepted!
  • Uncovered. Frequently Unreliable. Effectively distract.
  • You’ll never be as fabulous as a llamacorn.
  • Making people unsure about my gender on a daily basis.
  • If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?
  • Real men don’t take selfies.
  • My life is about as sorted out as the $5 DVD canister at Wal-Mart.
  • I liked memes before they were on Instagram.
  • Show anyone and I’ll kill you.
  • So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
  • Did you swallow magnets? Cause you are attractive!
  • Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?
  • It’s funny because it’s true.
  • Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously, a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
  • I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship!
  • Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!
  • I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.
  • What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
  • I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t.
  • All I need is Chipotle.
  • The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
  • Text me back or I’ll find you.
  • All you need is love! And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.
  • Today I will be as useless as letter g in lasagna.
  • I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
  • Walking past a class with your friends in it.
  • We’ll be friends for life because you already know too much!
  • I had fun once, it was horrible.
  • That awkward moment when someone is watching you take a picture of yourself.
  • Life isn’t perfect… But my Hair is! #selfieaddict
  • They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days.
  • WARNING: I will go into survival mode if tickled!
  • Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • Bitch I want to slap you, but in which face I don’t know.
  • This is how I look taking a selfie.
  • Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?
  • Chocolate doesn’t make inquiries, chocolate gets it.
  • Does anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
  • So you’re telling me I have a chance.
  • A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.
  • I don’t have ex’s; I have Y’s. Like, “Why did I ever date you?”
  • We serve drinks cheaper and colder than your EX.
  • I’m really not amusing. I’m just truly mean and individuals think I am kidding.
  • Live, laugh, love. And if that doesn’t work, load, aim fire.
  • When I was in Rome… I did what the Romans did.
  • A friend will always make you Smile, especially when you don’t want to…
  • Spreading grins like their herpes.
  • A selfie a day keeps the mental breakdown away.
  • Completely clumsy, proudest of geek & nerd, decreaser of world sucking.
  • I changed all my passwords to Incorrect.
  • Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
  • There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
  • If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
  • They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?
  • Need an ark? I Noah guy.
  • I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
  • Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?
  • At least this balloon is attracted to me!
  • Coffee – Because crack is bad for you.
  • 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • When nothing goes right, go left instead.
  • My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and warm-up pants.
  • Showing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, you’ll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.
  • I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
  • I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
  • Flawless has 7 letters thus does meeeeee. Incident? I think not.
  • May your day feel as good as taking this perfect selfie on the first try.
  • If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make them the gingerbread man?

Check Other Categories:

Best Funny & Humorous Instagram Captions & Quotes
Attitude Instagram Captions & Quotes
Best Girly Instagram Captions & Quotes
Common or General Use Instagram Captions and Quotes
Instagram Captions & Quotes for Couples
Love Quotes & Captions for Instagram
Instagram Captions & Quotes for Heartbreak
Good Selfie Quotes and Captions
Smart Instagram Captions & Quotes
Sassy, Classy & Sexy Instagram Captions
Beach & Travelling Captions & Quotes for Instagram
Party Hard Instagram Captions & Quotes